IF I HAD A HAMMER

If I had a hammer, I'd smash this computer in the morning, smash this computer in the evening, cause my name is Dan. I would smash it to pieces, cause it's nothing but feces, and I would be happy forever, cause my name is Dan. If you noticed that the last two blogs might have been a little too, shall we say "bitter". It is because of this #@%^$*&! computer. The last two weeks have been hell, to say the least. By the time I get to write something, I am already foaming at the mouth! A five minute post starts to take two hours and next thing you know I am blaming the world. So be patience my friends, this ordeal is almost over.

THE SESSION REPORT--DAY TWO

It was another beautiful day in the old town. The parking lot was filling up, the outside was filling up, and it was getting near that time to tap those firkins. There was however, one small glitch. There was no bartender for the outside. Now I wasn't wearing any shirt that had a big s on it. (Maybe bs) But since I got Mr. O into it, the least I could do is help out. So with one giant leap for beer, and another for session kind, I opened up the outside bar. It was sweet revenge on one hand, watching my friends almost having to be nice to me to get a beer. On the other hand, it was work, but very fun work. The purpose of the night was to see if the burbs could drink cask beer. The final grade B-. Nothing that night got kicked, but with 3 of them, we did put a little hurt on them. If we would have had two instead of three, maybe we kick one. The only thing we did kick, was some snobs. Tie score.

SESSION FEST REPORT- DAY ONE

After getting mentioned in the Daily News and the New York Times, my week was looking great. Then John calls and says "Dan, we only sold 12 tickets". My jaw dropped to the floor, which by the way, is quite a fall. The excuses were many, everybody in the whole state left to go to the shore, which was why all the beer stores and grocery stores were so empty all weekend. It was a Thursday night and everybody was running around, and my personal favorite, we won't drink anything under 6%. I knew if we canceled it, the ripple effects would take place down the road. So after a couple of beers, I talked to Lew and said " If we are going down, we are going down kicking and screaming". With a total crowd of around 20, we went on with the show. It was how I wanted to do it, Lew sitting and talking with the folks, Gordon from Nodding Head talking about his Berliner Weisse, and getting to try it for the first time on draft. Some food brought out, some we got at a buffet. In other words, a great fun night with everybody involved. Nobody went home unhappy except three people, me, Lew and John. There is no way we can continue this series of looking at the session beers of the season without more people. I still can't understand why you wouldn't want to have a great meal and some fine beer to go with it. All this was supposed to be was a get together of good folks, food, and beer. Nothing else. I guess the beer snobs win round one.

I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU!

Sly Stone couldn't have said it better. Loads and loads of thanks to Mr. O and the hard working staff, Scott Baver from Legacy, Rebbecca for making the tap list, Mr. session beer himself, Lew Bryson, and of course YOU for showing up. I will posting a blow by blow update with the dirty dog truth of the three days, hopefully by Monday sometime. Go out, have fun and enjoy the rest of your Holiday!

LADIES AND GENTLEMAN, START YOUR SESSION ENGINES!

Get your session motor running, way out on the highway, going to The Northside, going to drink beer and eat BBQ all day. Born to be mild. Yeah, thank god there is no sound on this blog. And to quote another song, "This is it". At 1 pm today we will kickoff the final chapter in the Session Summer of Love. Last night around midnight, the two fierce combatants began loading their smokers with enough meat to feed all of you hungry folks today. The main portion of that will be out around 4. But do not worry my BBQ friends, there will be some dogs and burgers to keep you satisfied till then. The kitchen will be open around two for those all important munchies. The beer starts flowing at 1, with prices at 4$ a pint and 2$ for a half. The Beersel will be 5$. Yes, all you beer snobs, the big bottles and some selected drafts will be sold today, however we are not responsible for any berating by the crowd. So, what are you waiting for, the green flag?

EAT YOUR VEGETABLES

You know when you were little and your parents would try and bribe you to eat your vegetables?" Come on honey, they're good for you and they will make you strong". You sat there with crocodile tears pouring out of your eyes, snot running down your nose, breathing like it was your last breath and trying to say something like, "I can't, I don't like it, I'm going to get sick." Then came the bribe, "if you eat them, you can get dessert". "I don't care" you scream as if dogs were ripping your flesh from your bones. "But its your favorite,blah, blah, blah." All of sudden you start to sit up and make a deal with Mom about how many you have to eat to get dessert. Then comes dessert, sweet mother of God ,this was worth eating those green things. I like to think of session beer of the vegetables of the world. Look over to the right at the events page. See anything you like? That my friends is some mighty good dessert. Now eat your vegetables.

THE SESSION SUMMER OF LOVE-ALL THE DETAILS!

Well boys and girls, this is it. Everything you want or need to know about our little wingding next week. So grab a brew, your No. 2 pencil and a piece of paper and lets get down to it. MAY 24 at 6:30p.m. we will break open the brand new bar outside with a beer dinner featuring Lew Bryson and special guest Gordon Grubb from Nodding Head Brewery. The cost is $40 and this is what you will get. Tomatillo salsa with fresh made corn chips, steamers made with Legacy's Midnight Wit, bar-b-que chicken with some tater salad, and of course some of Linda's homemade dessert! Oh yeah, there is some beer too. Allagash White, Stoudt's Weizen, Union Barrel Works Kolsch, Nodding Head Berliner Weisse, East End Brewing Wheat Hop and one of the last kegs (In the country, so I've been told) of Oude Beersel Framboise. These are some of the most famous summer beer styles around, with some of the most famous summer food styles around. So get your tickets NOW! MAY 25 around 6 p.m. or so, is also out on the new bar. It is called "Cask Away" a look at session cask beer with Legacy's Brown Aled Girl, Nodding Heads All Night Mild and Pale Ale, and Iron Hills Belgian Pale Ale. This is a pay as you drink event so bring your credit card and some cash and try some beer the old fashioned way, right out of the keg and into your glass! Saturday MAY 26. Craft beer history is made right here in Zieglerville (Who thought that sentence would ever happen?) When for the first time ever, over 25 craft brewed beers will be served that are 5.5% or less in Alcohol! Check the listing over to your right to see what is coming on tap for that day only! There will be an all you can eat bar-b-que buffet featuring pulled pork, chicken, ribs, brisket, corn, taters, pasta salad and I am sure probably even more side dishes. That will be priced around $15, most beer between 3$ or 4$ a glass! Once again, this is a pay as you eat and drink event. The fun starts around 1 p.m. and will last till we run out. So, do you want to sit in traffic at the shore? Do you want to go to the in-laws for some bar-b-cide? OR, do you want to hang out with great food, great beer and of course great friends? I know what I am doing. How bout you?

WHOOPS!

Okay, my finger and thumb were farther apart than I thought. It must have been all the water I was drinking. But next week for our big three day event it will be open for the whole world to see, or just us. Saturday the big, final update with all the juicy details about that event will be here and at the Northside. So get ready.

SO CLOSE

We are this close to opening up the outside bar. (Picture of finger and thumb) I know, I said it was all but open, but there was some last minute bugs. This weekend like for sure. I hope you fine boys and girls got your tickets for next Thursday night. You know, the bar-b-que dinner and beer on the patio event. Trust me, if you never been to an Ortino's event, there is never a shortage of beer or food. In other words it is a steal. So come on down, we are going to have some fun.

LATE BREAKING NEWS

This just in, "Cask Away" a pins on the patio (mini firkin fest) event on Friday night around 6, has it's first castaways. Nodding Head and Legacy! More details later as I've got to clean up and get a beer. Hmmm where should I go?

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY AND I'LL DRINK SESSION BEER IF I WANT TO!

Yes boys and girls, a hundred or so years ago, a giant stork was flying over lower Delaware. As it got nearer the chicken coops and corn fields, I could see my new mom waiting for me. Unfortunately the stork dropped me too close to a tree called Ugleforyouism. Yes kids, I was hit with the ugly stick. Though my mama loved me, she did however raise a fool. Which is why Ortino's Northside is having a three day event called The Session Summer Of Love. It has all the things you want, session beer, summer and of course love. We kick things off on the patio with the one and only Lew Bryson on the 24th. On Friday we try to prove that the suburbs can in fact drink cask beer, by having a mini firkin fest outside on the patio that night. But that is also when the real fun begins when Scott "Euphoria" Baver from Legacy and John "Smoky" Ortino begin their battle of who can smoke the best meat. On Saturday around 1 the doors open for more fun outside rain or shine. We will have 30 or so session style beers, a bar-b-que buffet from the two combatants, and more fun than you can shake a "stick" at.

I'VE GOT SUNSHINE EVERY DAY!

Oh how sweet it is! Can it get any nicer out? If you have been stuck inside, well take heart my friends, cause here comes some of the news I mention awhile back. The Northside has a new bar. On the outside. Yes, a brand new spanking bar to sit outside and drink to your wallets content. With up to SEVEN more taps for the summer, bringing the total to 27 plus a nitro and a hundpump. There will be wheats, whites and wits on tap outside during the summer months and some other different styles of session beers. Also to be up and running soon is your own personal chef outside. With the smoker and a new grill coming, we will have a menu for the outside as well as the inside. Now don't worry, you can still get your beer from the inside as well as your food, but come on, it's summer. Eat, drink, and say hello to Erin. I will be listing the new food menu for the outdoors as soon as we are ready. And a new tap menu will be listed too. The other news around these parts is some type of growler to go, bring your own and we fill them up. Not just yet kids, we are still working on a pricing plan. The new bottle list is nearing completion also. Oh, and one more thing, check back on Tuesday for more late breaking news.